Are they gone yet?

You know — the Democratic candidates for president. Barack somebody and one of the Clintons.

I held off asking that question until today, since we are now a de-facto afternoon paper, and the odds are pretty decent that both candidates — there are only two, right? — will have packed their attack ads and gone to West Virginia.

West Virginia is the next state in the presidential primary parade. West Virginia is renowned for its white-water rafting. I am hoping that both candidates take advantage of what would be a glorious although soggy photo opp, and take the plunge.

Banjo music would be optional.

After the May 13 West Virginia vote, only four primaries remain before the Democratic Party will meet to decide who it will run against Republican Sen. John McCain.

Well, the May 27 Idaho primary is “non-binding,” so perhaps it’s only three primaries left.

Were I an Idaho taxpayer, I would be asking someone A) “How much is this costing?” and B) “Other than egos, what’s the point?” but I have been feeling peckish recently, and it could just be the indigestion talking.

Or I’m having a rebound from the interminable drone of campaign ads that have pierced my eardrums for the last — what, seven, eight years?

Work isn’t the only thing that expands to fill the time allotted. So does nausea.

Look, I wouldn’t be so cranky if Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had actually addressed issues while they were hustling (yes, that is a double entendre) Hoosiers.

But they didn’t. Hillary came up with a lame idea that the nation’s gasoline crises would be solved if only the federal gasoline tax were suspended during the summer.

That money pays for road improvements, of course. With a reduction in taxes leading to a reduction in gas prices, arguably more people would have taken to the highways this summer, thereby wearing out more of those highways faster and requiring more improvements.

But why start applying logic to national politics now? We’ve gone so long without it.

Obama made fun of Hillary’s plan, rightfully so, but partially because a large anchor had been draped around his neck. Turns out the anchor was a “man of the cloth,” aka The Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who had been Obama’s pastor for 20 years.