Rushville Republican

Church

January 24, 2014

I've never robbed a bank... Yet!

One day last week my wife looked at me and said in one of “those tones,” “Have you taken out the garbage?” She is always surprising me with questions related to things she has asked me to do. My problem is my attention span is about as long as my memory. Personally, I think she takes advantage of me in this area.

I looked at her with one of my infamous dummified faces. She responded, “You did not take out the garbage, did you? You never do what I ask you to do.”

Without thinking, and I mean it quite literally, I quipped, “Well, I’ve never robbed a bank... yet!”

Where that came from, I will never know. To my recollection, I have never even thought about robbing a bank. I do not know where I would start in the first place.

With an astonished look my wife responded, “What bank have you been thinking of robbing?”

It worked beautifully. I did not think it would work as well as it did because I did not put any forethought into this. However, it did get her off the topic at hand. For the next several moments, all she could talk about was me robbing a bank and the horrific trouble we would be in if caught.

Any individual successful in life needs to be able to put forth the proper words. For me, I found the right words.

Coming in the door the other day I was greeted with, “Did you get the quart of milk I asked you to get when you left this morning?”

Without thinking, which is the beauty of this strategy, I responded by saying, “No, and I haven’t robbed a bank yet, either.”

Only one problem with this kind of victory. Who can I brag to about it? I cannot tell my wife because then I could not use it anymore. The only thing I can do at this point is to smile. And boy, have I been smiling lately.

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