Rushville Republican


January 2, 2013

Stuart: No faking this column – Isreal

RUSHVILLE — My No. 1 son and my mother- and father-in-law came to visit us in Nawth Caylinah for the holidays, which distracted me a lot from FINALLY writing the definitive Great American Column to kick off 2013.

Then we traveled to Indiana to visit my mom and siblings, which further distracted me a lot from FINALLY writing the definitive Great American Column to kick off 2013.

Then I blobbed out on the couch watching college football bowl games, which TOTALLY distracted me from writing, from showering, from feeding the cats, from going to work, and much more.

But that’s understandable, right? Because as you know, there are sooooo many interesting things one learns when one watches college football bowl games. For example, one learns that a great many comely college cheerleaders can barely fit into their skimpy uniforms. For another thing, one learns that. . . uhhhh. . . mmmmm. . . wait – what? – sorry, just replaying the college bowl game that I DVR’d because there were sooooo many shots of comely cheerleaders who barely fit into their skimpy uniforms.

Anyway, if my calculations are correct, by the time you read this, there will be only another month or so until they play the “National Championship” bowl game, which used to be played, in the quaint old days, on New Year’s Day. With the college football bowl season stretching for as long as it does, it makes it tough on people who get heartily fatigued of my “funny football names” columns after about half a sentence. But, due to all the finely wrought, justifiable, and downright ironclad excuses I shared in this week’s first three paragraphs, here’s yet one more of those columns. (Just think! – only 48 weeks until the next one!)

Fresno State has two quarterbacks – unrelated, for what it’s worth – named Carr; freshman Myles and junior Derek. So obviously, the team’s practice facility is equipped with a two-Carr garage.

For some reason, I heard this player’s name and couldn’t help but think of a lead character in a movie about the Civil War and its effects on the fates of a number of people associated with a grand Southern Plantation, perhaps called, oh, say, “Tara.” So who is this fella? Baylor University tight end Rhett Butler.

Here are a few more guys who certainly have powerful enough names to apply for jobs as Emperors somewhere, if they don’t go “play on Sundays” after college:

Ohio University defensive back  Octavius Leftwich;

University of Louisiana-Monroe running back Centaurus Donald

And Centaurus’ teammate, wide receiver Rashon Caesar.

I picture this Baylor offensive lineman earning an “A” in art class for turning in a very sincerely sincere sketch: Drew Earnest.

More names I can honestly say I’ve never heard before:

The Rice University Owls have a quarterback named Driphus Jackson.

Air Force has a running back named Broam Hart.

And a kicker named Briceton Cannada.

West Virginia University has a defensive lineman named Dozie Ezemma.

Might that renowned bestower of doofy nicknames, Chris Berman of ESPN, be tempted to nickname this guy “Complex”? – West Virginia cornerback Brandon Napoleon.

Syracuse has its own “All-Variations On A Name” Team:

Wide receiver Marcus Sales;

Defensive end Markus Pierce-Brewster;

Linebacker Marquis Spruill.

Fresno State has two quarterbacks – unrelated, for what it’s worth – named Carr; freshman Myles and junior Derek. So obviously, the team’s practice facility is equipped with a two-Carr garage.

Gotta allow for an encore performance from a guy I mentioned last year, whose parents must’ve loooooved surfing (he’s from Hawaii): Naval Academy defensive back Wave Ryder. Let’s also give a little pub to Wave’s little bro, also playing for Navy – center Blaze Ryder. Annnnnd, if for no other reason than to pre-empt this 6’ 4”, 255 pounder getting angry with me for not mentioning him, here’s a shout-out to Navy defensive lineman Vin Rider.

My beloved Purdue Boilermakers should probably be wary of tension between a couple of offensive lineman; I mean, it’s entirely possible that J.J. Prince wants to usurp Jason King.

Lastly, his teammates love him because he’s open, honest, up-front and not the least bit phony: he’s Arizona State linebacker Isreal Marshall.




Text Only
  • The best years of your life

    As people age they often look back to fondly recall the best years of their lives. Natural timeframes are the college years or that certain age before the daily grind of work and family take over the bulk of the day. Associations are to being carefree with limited responsibilities, a light and airy existence.

    August 13, 2013

  • Ziemke: My Summer Homework

    Even though session has been out for a little more than a month, the General Assembly still has much work to do. I had a brief break where I got to go home and mow the lawn, spend time at my restaurant, the Brau Haus, and attend a few festivals in addition to continuing to work on constituent concerns. The time has come for work on summer study committees to commence and I’m ready to get back at it.

    June 28, 2013

  • Mauzy: Rush County: The hope and the despair

    Moments arise when hope and despair briefly intersect. During these emotional overlaps, it’s a toss-up as to which energy will win even though we desire the best. Two recent high-profile events present the overlapping calamity often noticed in this community.

    June 28, 2013

  • Asbestos awareness is an important topic

    Dear Editor:
    My father, sister and husband all died because of asbestos. Now my brother has asbestosis. I set up my website because of the death of my husband to let people know of the dangers. It was the first website designed by a person on the internet at that time instead of by lawyers. The stories are to honour those effected by asbestos and to make sure they are never forgotten. I had just finished the last sentence when I heard of Janelle’s death.

    June 27, 2013

  • Proposed parade route

    Dear Editor:
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    Gene Monroe

    June 26, 2013

  • Barada: Good advice for parents and college students

    This week’s column is more for the parents of kids about to head to college than unsolicited advice for students about to go. Why? Because kids going away from home, some for the very first time ever, can be an even more traumatic event for the parents than for their children!

    June 25, 2013

  • Stop the student loan interest rate hike

    The key to a great life is a good education. But paying for a college education is tough. Many families are taking out second mortgages. Some are putting-off deserved vacations. Others are telling their kids they just can’t afford to attend the school of their choice.

    June 19, 2013

  • Mauzy: Recent graduates are free to explore

    Two weeks have now passed since Rush County Schools released new graduates from a state required academic curriculum.

    June 18, 2013

  • Parade should be on Harrison Street

    Dear Editor:
    There was good reason for not moving the parade back onto Main Street after the third lane was rammed through: we learned Harrison Street is a better route for both the participants and the spectators.

    June 18, 2013

  • Barada: The right people in key places

    For the first time in years, this community has exceptionally good people in key places within organizations involved directly with helping make Rush County a better place in which to live!

    June 18, 2013

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