Rushville Republican

Columns

August 27, 2013

Have you ever been teed off?

I’m not a big drinker. After one glass of wine, I don’t look for a fight, but I do look for a designated driver. My wife calls me a short hitter, which brings me to this week’s topic.

The golf course where I play is now allowing seniors to hit from the ladies’ tees in the tournaments. The idea is that when you reach a certain age you can’t hit the ball as far as the young bucks, so allowing this advantage to those over 65 levels the playing field. Many of the guys choose not to indulge in this option because they claim it is emasculating. Some of these men have been married 40 or more years. All of a sudden, this is an issue?

The first round I played from the shorter tees, I had five pars and two birdies. I also had three guys call me Rosemary. On the 19th hole, Tina the bartender put a little flower in my drink. That’s the last time I’ll order a Shirley Temple.

It got worse as the day went on. When I was in the men’s room, Vince walked in and said “Whoops, sorry, wrong door,” then covered his eyes and backed out.

When I got home, Mary Ellen, who has no real interest in my favorite sport, had a question about some of the terminology used in the game. “In golf, what do they mean by the purse?” I explained that the purse was the total winnings in dollars available to the players in a tournament.

“Oh, I’m glad you won money today, but be more careful in the future,” said Mary Ellen. “The guys at the club just called and told me to tell you that you left your purse on the golf cart.” Later that evening the women’s club champion called and asked me to stop winking at her husband at the bar.

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Columns
  • Young people should be involved in sports People who know me are probably aware that my favorite sport is football. As it turns out, I’m not alone, at least in terms of the number of high school kids who take part in the sport. During the 2012-13 school year, a total of 1,088,158 high school

    August 19, 2014

  • A Washing-ton of baseball trivia On our recent, although not really so recent anymore, I guess, since I’ve been writing about it for weeks on end, summer vacation, all the guys in our group -- me, brothers-in-law, nephews, sons, father-in-law -- went to a Washington Nationals vs. Co

    August 19, 2014

  • Habitual behavior Mary Ellen and I have been happy together for so long that we sometimes forget how much we annoy each other, so on the trip back home from our recent vacation, it was time catch up on our bad habits.For example, I told Mary Ellen that she is a relent

    August 19, 2014

  • Driving Highway 40 in the 40's My days in the 1940’s would today be extremely quiet and sedate. I have remembrances of having an enjoyable day with family and in reality doing little. On a Sunday afternoon, we would take off and head toward Dunreith and Highway 40, the only 4-lane

    August 19, 2014

  • Card, why do I need a stinking card? I would consider myself a typical male shopper, I buy. That is not to say that I don’t look for a good deal, but I am not going to travel from store to store in search of saving a few pennies here or there. With that in mind, I recently was in search

    August 15, 2014

  • Giving young people a second chance How many of you know what the Hoosier Youth ChalleNGe Academy is? More basically, how many of you know where it is? I had a vague notion of where it is, but I would have been hard-pressed to tell you much about what it is. The Hoosier Youth ChalleNGe

    August 12, 2014

  • Civil reunion My wife and I enjoy doing many things together. But when our entertainment preferences are not in sync, we can communicate openly with each other. That makes for a perfect union. But it may make for a lousy reunion. Let me explain.The Wolfsie family

    August 12, 2014

  • A capitol idea, sealed with a snog On our recent summer vacation to Annapolis, Maryland, we made sure to see as many memorable sights as we could in nearby Washington, D.C. This included a tour of the United States capitol building. Or maybe it’s the Capitol Building? – I suddenly rea

    August 12, 2014

  • Tuesdays with Auri It began with a simple phone call to my friend Auri, a computer geek I asked to help me with my very successful website, which right now is attracting up to three visitors a month. To have a strong online presence, you have to spend several hours a d

    August 5, 2014

  • Technology is taking over You see them everywhere you go. Electronics. Adults are using them daily and so are children of all ages.I am so glad that when I was growing up, electronics were not big yet. Of course in school we used computers to do work, but they were new. I rem

    August 5, 2014