Rushville Republican

Columns

January 21, 2014

Sochi, Chemmy and Snooki - All in one column

(Continued)

Anyway, I rooted out some biographical info on Chemmy and on one website, she recounts a dream she had as a little girl, which she wrote down so she wouldn’t forget it. In it, she wins an Olympic gold medal, sings the British national anthem atop the medal podium, and is embraced by a throng of adoring fans before winding up in the arms of her mother, who whispers to her “Darling, your hair isn’t right.”

Among some of the other Sochi Olympians that I found notable:

• A guy from Austria who rides the luge – a mode of transport that can easily get airborne – has a most appropriate name for a luger, because it reminds me of a boy who could fly: Peter Penz.

• Carmen Kung is a curler for Switzerland and Cong Han is a figure skater from China, and if only they were partners in ice dancing, or pairs figure skating, you’d have the team of Kung/Cong.

• Pretend you’re watching “Jersey Shore” (you’d pretend because nobody actually watches that, right?) and let’s say Snooki tells Pauly D that she wants JWoww (I only know these names from Googling them, honest!) to meet them. Wouldn’t Snooki say to Pauly D something like this Russian ski jumper’s last name? – Irina Avvakumova.

(C’mon, think along with me; start with four English words – “have her come over”; convert into one Joisey word; Avvakumova!)

• I don’t know about you, but I can really groove to the rhythms of the Japanese Olympians:

Fujimoto, Fujimura, Nagashima, Ito.

Ishizawa, Murikami, Oshigiri, Kato.

Sakagami, Takahashi, Yamanaka, Kubo.

And so on.

• Officials at the Sochi hockey venues are wrestling with the problem of how to keep fights from breaking out between fans of Niklas Bäckström. This is because Niklas Bäckström plays goalie for Finland. And Niklas Bäckström plays forward for Sweden. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Anyway, the point is, there are two hockey-playing guys named Niklas Bäckström.

Text Only
Columns
  • There's something about Maryland My family unit has just returned from a death march – oops, make that, “vacation” – in Annapolis, Maryland. In spite of constant 96-degree temps (though it dropped as low as 95.7 at night), and the stifling humidity, we had lots of dolgurn fun. Mainl

    July 22, 2014

  • Learning to say goodbye From as far back as I can remember, saying hello has been a part of nearly each day.During my youth, it was used when I met new people my parents introduced me to and was frequently followed by a handshake. I couldn’t count the number of times I used

    July 18, 2014

  • Lessons from the largely forgotten war As we approach the official date on which the First World War started, July 28, 1914, when the first shots were fired by the Austro-Hungarians who invaded Serbia, it’s appropriate to think about the lessons that catastrophic event has taught us one h

    July 15, 2014

  • Please go away My wife is planning our summer vacation, which we will take in the fall. We took our spring vacation this summer. We got behind in 1984 and still haven’t caught up. I don’t have much input into the planning of these trips, but Mary Ellen did assign m

    July 15, 2014

  • Soothing '60's Surf Sounds I’m sitting in my home office enjoying a serenade of rhythmic pulsations emanating from the outside wall. It’s coming from our water spigot. No. 5 son (age 13) and his buddies are using it to fill water balloons. 1,500 water balloons to be exact. 1,5

    July 15, 2014

  • Soccer-stopping Storm a Lousy Treat What a great way to spend a Saturday morning in July: I’m sitting in my car with rain cascading on the roof, lightning skittering all over the sky, and thunder sockin’ it to the atmosphere with such force that I feel a rumbling in my bum.I’m staring

    July 8, 2014

  • Only in America - Top 10 As we move into the glorious months of summer, I thought you might be amused by reading the Top Ten List of what Canadians supposedly think of how things are going in this country. It’s a lot like David Letterman’s “top ten list.”Number 10: Only in A

    July 8, 2014

  • Government today is way too intrusive What ever happened to the America of my youth? That great country that was indeed the jewel of the common person of the world. The country where one could actually, through hard work and industry, make a good living and actually have the OPPORTUNITY

    July 8, 2014

  • Gone in the blink of an eye Over the holiday weekend I was able to enjoy three days, (somewhat) off work. Three day weekends are always a highlight for me and I am sure most of you will agree.I went fishing to wrap up my Sunday evening. While sitting in the old John boat castin

    July 8, 2014

  • Mum Mum If my grandmother were alive today, she would be 125, and she would still, no doubt, be walking around in her six-inch-high heels, the ones she asked to be buried in—and she’d have a Marlboro in her fingers. She demanded to be called Mum Mum because

    July 3, 2014

Featured Ads
AP Video
13 Struck by Lightning on Calif. Beach Baseball Hall of Famers Inducted Israel, Hamas Trade Fire Despite Truce in Gaza Italy's Nibali Set to Win First Tour De France Raw: Shipwrecked Concordia Completes Last Voyage Raw: Sea Turtle Hatchlings Emerge From Nest Raw: Massive Dust Storm Covers Phoenix 12-hour Cease-fire in Gaza Fighting Begins Raw: Bolivian Dancers Attempt to Break Record Raw: Israel, Palestine Supporters Rally in US Raw: Air Algerie Flight 5017 Wreckage Virginia Governor Tours Tornado Aftermath Judge Faces Heat Over Offer to Help Migrant Kids Kangaroo Goes Missing in Oklahoma More M17 Bodies Return, Sanctions on Russia Grow Raw: Deadly Tornado Hits Virginia Campground Ohio State Marching Band Chief Fired After Probe Raw: Big Rig Stuck in Illinois Swamp
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.