Anyway, I rooted out some biographical info on Chemmy and on one website, she recounts a dream she had as a little girl, which she wrote down so she wouldn’t forget it. In it, she wins an Olympic gold medal, sings the British national anthem atop the medal podium, and is embraced by a throng of adoring fans before winding up in the arms of her mother, who whispers to her “Darling, your hair isn’t right.”
Among some of the other Sochi Olympians that I found notable:
• A guy from Austria who rides the luge – a mode of transport that can easily get airborne – has a most appropriate name for a luger, because it reminds me of a boy who could fly: Peter Penz.
• Carmen Kung is a curler for Switzerland and Cong Han is a figure skater from China, and if only they were partners in ice dancing, or pairs figure skating, you’d have the team of Kung/Cong.
• Pretend you’re watching “Jersey Shore” (you’d pretend because nobody actually watches that, right?) and let’s say Snooki tells Pauly D that she wants JWoww (I only know these names from Googling them, honest!) to meet them. Wouldn’t Snooki say to Pauly D something like this Russian ski jumper’s last name? – Irina Avvakumova.
(C’mon, think along with me; start with four English words – “have her come over”; convert into one Joisey word; Avvakumova!)
• I don’t know about you, but I can really groove to the rhythms of the Japanese Olympians:
Fujimoto, Fujimura, Nagashima, Ito.
Ishizawa, Murikami, Oshigiri, Kato.
Sakagami, Takahashi, Yamanaka, Kubo.
And so on.
• Officials at the Sochi hockey venues are wrestling with the problem of how to keep fights from breaking out between fans of Niklas Bäckström. This is because Niklas Bäckström plays goalie for Finland. And Niklas Bäckström plays forward for Sweden. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Anyway, the point is, there are two hockey-playing guys named Niklas Bäckström.