Rushville Republican

Columns

May 27, 2014

Class act

My throat was sore, I was exhausted, and my legs were killing me. I don’t recommend anyone doing what I did this past week, certainly not at my age: teaching high school for one day.

I returned to New Rochelle, New York, where I had taught English at my alma mater from 1969-1978. I had to teach one more day in order to satisfy a new state requirement for earning the pension I had failed to collect almost 35 years ago. I already had a history of a few other failures at that school, although history was not one of them. In those days, in order to graduate you needed 20 credits. I asked my guidance counselor if I had enough and she said. “All you need is five a year, do the math.” That was the problem: I couldn’t do math, which is why I was two credits short.

Because I love comedy, I talked to each class of the four classes about the importance of humor. GSOH (good sense of humor) is a common acronym used on dating site profiles. Interestingly, women want men who make them laugh. Men want women who laugh at their jokes. This seemed like a great topic for a class and it turned out to inspire some lively discussion among the 16- and 17-year-olds. So lively, in fact, I decided to bring it up at dinner that evening with my siblings, who still live in the area. Mary Ellen and I stayed at my sister’s house in New York for a few days. I made this arrangement because I cherish my relationship with Linda and I tried to spend as much time with her as possible…and I wanted to save $1,500 on hotels.

My sister cooked dinner for us one night and we were joined by her boyfriend Kyle, my brother Peter, and my niece Ericka, all of whom are single. We went around the room discussing deal breakers—personality traits or habits listed in a personal ad that would immediately eliminate someone as a potential mate. My sister was denied membership several years ago in one singles site because applicants are only allowed to pick five of these disqualifiers. Linda had checked off so many on the list that they considered her “too picky”—which is another trait she can’t stand in men.

Text Only
Columns
  • There's something about Maryland My family unit has just returned from a death march – oops, make that, “vacation” – in Annapolis, Maryland. In spite of constant 96-degree temps (though it dropped as low as 95.7 at night), and the stifling humidity, we had lots of dolgurn fun. Mainl

    July 22, 2014

  • Learning to say goodbye From as far back as I can remember, saying hello has been a part of nearly each day.During my youth, it was used when I met new people my parents introduced me to and was frequently followed by a handshake. I couldn’t count the number of times I used

    July 18, 2014

  • Lessons from the largely forgotten war As we approach the official date on which the First World War started, July 28, 1914, when the first shots were fired by the Austro-Hungarians who invaded Serbia, it’s appropriate to think about the lessons that catastrophic event has taught us one h

    July 15, 2014

  • Please go away My wife is planning our summer vacation, which we will take in the fall. We took our spring vacation this summer. We got behind in 1984 and still haven’t caught up. I don’t have much input into the planning of these trips, but Mary Ellen did assign m

    July 15, 2014

  • Soothing '60's Surf Sounds I’m sitting in my home office enjoying a serenade of rhythmic pulsations emanating from the outside wall. It’s coming from our water spigot. No. 5 son (age 13) and his buddies are using it to fill water balloons. 1,500 water balloons to be exact. 1,5

    July 15, 2014

  • Soccer-stopping Storm a Lousy Treat What a great way to spend a Saturday morning in July: I’m sitting in my car with rain cascading on the roof, lightning skittering all over the sky, and thunder sockin’ it to the atmosphere with such force that I feel a rumbling in my bum.I’m staring

    July 8, 2014

  • Only in America - Top 10 As we move into the glorious months of summer, I thought you might be amused by reading the Top Ten List of what Canadians supposedly think of how things are going in this country. It’s a lot like David Letterman’s “top ten list.”Number 10: Only in A

    July 8, 2014

  • Government today is way too intrusive What ever happened to the America of my youth? That great country that was indeed the jewel of the common person of the world. The country where one could actually, through hard work and industry, make a good living and actually have the OPPORTUNITY

    July 8, 2014

  • Gone in the blink of an eye Over the holiday weekend I was able to enjoy three days, (somewhat) off work. Three day weekends are always a highlight for me and I am sure most of you will agree.I went fishing to wrap up my Sunday evening. While sitting in the old John boat castin

    July 8, 2014

  • Mum Mum If my grandmother were alive today, she would be 125, and she would still, no doubt, be walking around in her six-inch-high heels, the ones she asked to be buried in—and she’d have a Marlboro in her fingers. She demanded to be called Mum Mum because

    July 3, 2014