I guess it’s no secret that we Americans are fond of hyperbole, always looking for ways to designate something as distinctively colossally unique – “It’s the (name the event) of the CENTURY!” and stuff like that. However, an event this week actually qualifies as one that really does only happen once every 100 years – Tuesday, November 12, when given the numerical “month/day/year” treatment, is 11/12/13.
Hasn’t happened since November 12, 1913. Won’t happen again until November 12, 2113.
I know, I know, if you’re from just about any other country in the world other than the USA, this isn’t how you render November 12, 2013 numerically – it would be 12/11/13 ... day first, month second, year third. I don’t want to create a diplomatic uproar by saying this is wrong on so many levels. So I won’t. Even though it is. However, the really good news for me is that I will get to re-publish this exact column all over again, with the excuse that “It’s for my non-American friends and readers” to commemorate December 11, 2013, when the REST of the world recognizes “11/12/13.”
Unfortunately, this kind of waters down the “won’t happen again for a HUNDRED YEARS!” hyperbole in which I intended to saturate this column. But rather than put a fork in it, I’ll soldier on by sharing a few tidbits of November twelfths past, in the style of DeWitt Wallace.
“DeWho What-ace?” you say? DeWitt Wallace, says I, who was born November 12, 1889, and was the co-founder of Reader’s Digest, the publication that invented “the sound bite” before the world even had sound. It’s been proven without a shadow of a doubt that, in our short-attention-span world, people just don’t have time for anything more than Reader’s Digest style reporting. Thus, the wonderfulness of Reader’s Digest content, which is condensed, even rewritten – like most of my columns! This makes news easier to consume, and thus infinitely more digestible, even on the relatively spicy paper that The Republican is printed on.