Rushville Republican

Columns

November 12, 2013

This month's Once-in-a-Lifetime Day!

I guess it’s no secret that we Americans are fond of hyperbole, always looking for ways to designate something as distinctively colossally unique – “It’s the (name the event) of the CENTURY!” and stuff like that. However, an event this week actually qualifies as one that really does only happen once every 100 years – Tuesday, November 12, when given the numerical “month/day/year” treatment, is 11/12/13.

Hasn’t happened since November 12, 1913. Won’t happen again until November 12, 2113.

I know, I know, if you’re from just about any other country in the world other than the USA, this isn’t how you render November 12, 2013 numerically – it would be 12/11/13 ... day first, month second, year third. I don’t want to create a diplomatic uproar by saying this is wrong on so many levels. So I won’t. Even though it is. However, the really good news for me is that I will get to re-publish this exact column all over again, with the excuse that “It’s for my non-American friends and readers” to commemorate December 11, 2013, when the REST of the world recognizes “11/12/13.”

Unfortunately, this kind of waters down the “won’t happen again for a HUNDRED YEARS!” hyperbole in which I intended to saturate this column. But rather than put a fork in it, I’ll soldier on by sharing a few tidbits of November twelfths past, in the style of DeWitt Wallace.

“DeWho What-ace?” you say? DeWitt Wallace, says I, who was born November 12, 1889, and was the co-founder of Reader’s Digest, the publication that invented “the sound bite” before the world even had sound. It’s been proven without a shadow of a doubt that, in our short-attention-span world, people just don’t have time for anything more than Reader’s Digest style reporting. Thus, the wonderfulness of Reader’s Digest content, which is condensed, even rewritten – like most of my columns! This makes news easier to consume, and thus infinitely more digestible, even on the relatively spicy paper that The Republican is printed on.

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Columns
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  • Please go away My wife is planning our summer vacation, which we will take in the fall. We took our spring vacation this summer. We got behind in 1984 and still haven’t caught up. I don’t have much input into the planning of these trips, but Mary Ellen did assign m

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  • Soothing '60's Surf Sounds I’m sitting in my home office enjoying a serenade of rhythmic pulsations emanating from the outside wall. It’s coming from our water spigot. No. 5 son (age 13) and his buddies are using it to fill water balloons. 1,500 water balloons to be exact. 1,5

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  • Soccer-stopping Storm a Lousy Treat What a great way to spend a Saturday morning in July: I’m sitting in my car with rain cascading on the roof, lightning skittering all over the sky, and thunder sockin’ it to the atmosphere with such force that I feel a rumbling in my bum.I’m staring

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