Here I am, while the rest of the house is fast asleep, figuring out how to record, watch and savor every one of this year’s college football bowl games.
Shouldn’t be too hard – there are only 35 of them this year. 35 games times roughly three hours each will only eat up, let’s see, about 105 hours, which, heck, is less thenfour-and-a-half days.
Really, I ask you – it isn’t demanding too much of my family to buck up and do a few extra holiday chores, is it? They managed to buy their own Christmas presents, and all that’s left now is feeding and occasionally sponge-bathing me in front of the TV to afford me the chance to watch players who will forever be in my personal “Interesting College Football Names Hall of Fame.” Players such as:
Colorado State defensive lineman Johnny Schupp, whose nickname just has to be “What’s.”
These guys can NOT expect to go through life without being asked the backstory of their names, can they?: University of Cincinnati linebacker Silverberry Mouhon; Tulane wide receiver Fudge Van Hooser; Kansas State linebacker Charmeachealle Moore; University of Michigan defensive end Taco Charlton; University of Texas defensive back Chevoski Collins; Ball State wide receiver Cywettnie Brown.
You can’t help but notice what must be something of a minor statistical anomaly on The University of North Carolina roster: they’ve got a T.J. Thorpe, a T.J. Logan, and a T.J. Jiles, supplemented by an A.J. Blue, and a J.J. Patterson. Not to mention, near the end of the roster , a Tim Jackson, whose nickname is, naturally, “Charmeachealle.”
Don’t stay too long in one of those tanning salon beds, or you could wind up like Kansas State defensive back Tanner Burns.