Stuart: Mays of our lives

Don Stuart
Guest Columnist

May 12, 2008 11:11 am

— Among this column’s many missions, besides making me fabulously famous and wealthy, is to occasionally employ my unique and patented research technique - known as “Histrology” - to look back at past events that have already occurred and thus mock people who can’t or hopefully won’t sue us.
Let’s review, then, several events of staggering historical significance from Mays gone by:
May 12: The birthday of baseball great Yogi Berra, born in 1925, and famous as much for his unique way of explaining the world as for his talent on the diamond. For example:
n He once said about a popular New York nightspot, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”
n He was once complimented by the Mayor’s wife for looking cool during a New York heat wave, to which he replied, “Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.”
I’ve learned, however, you have to be careful with Yogi Berra stories; according to Yogi himself, “I didn’t say half the things I said.”
May 14: Birthdate, in 1686, of Gabriel Fahrenheit, who developed a way to measure temperature, which is still relied upon by chilled and sweaty people in a few places around the world to help them complain more knowingly about the weather.
Also on this date, in 1904, the first Olympic Games to be staged in the United States began in St. Louis. Only 233 hours of coverage were shown on TV, and because there were very few un-American competitors, the US of A won most of the medals. This was fortunate, because the organizers of the games had a LOT of trouble finding bands that could play national anthems from other countries. They finally settled on a group of itinerant bagpipers who improvised non-U.S. anthems by simply speeding up or slowing down their rendition of “Scotland the Brave.”
May 16: There must be something about being born on the 16th that leads to a colorful nickname later in life. Consider these folks were born on 5/16:
n writer Studs Terkel, real name Louis;
n baseball star Rube Walker, real name Albert;
n and Liberace, real name Yogi.
May 18: Birthdate of Perry Como, born in 1912. Como is worth remembering for lots of reasons, but one of my favorites is this: In 1956, he had a #1 hit, as in, “most popular song in the nation,” called “Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom).” It’s fun sharing this nuggets with today’s iPod addicted tween-agers, and watching their jaws go slack with disbelieving boredom.
I may eventually write an entire Histrology column about Como, because it’s filled with fun facts such as:
n As an enterprising teenager he ran his own barbershop in his hometown of Canonsburg, Pennsylvania; as he cut hair and shaved beards, he would sing, which led to a job with a touring band, which led to his boffo career
n He was the seventh son of a seventh son, which some say is an omen of supernatural powers. And come to think of it, did anyone EVER see Perry and Superman together? Hmmmm.
May 20: The birthdate, in 1946, of Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPiere, who decided as a rising young entertainer to trim that ten-syllable name all the way down to one, and became the singer and actress we call Cher. Perhaps this “name-bob” was sort of an omen of her numerous plastic surgeries to come; refreshingly, unlike most well-known famous people, Cher openly admits she’s “had some work done.”
On May 20, 1927, Charles Lindbergh began the first solo, nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean. When he landed in Paris 33 1/2 hours later, he climbed from the cockpit and uttered those immortal words, “Hot diggity, dog ziggity boom!”
May 21: In 1932, five years to the day after Lindbergh completed his solo Atlantic flight, Amelia Earhart becomes the second person to do it, flying from Newfoundland to Ireland. To keep herself occupied during the flight, she sang songs she’d learned from a young barber named Pierino.
It’s also the birthdate, in 1917, of the bad guy in Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window,” Raymond Burr. This triggers a memory: My Mom enjoyed watching Burr in “Perry Mason” reruns while I was growing up, and it was during an episode of “P.M.” that I posed a timeless question that every kid wonders about: “Why don’t people in TV shows ever go to the bathroom?”
Hey, I had to ask; that question had become a real Burr in my saddle.
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