Gas prices are up. In some major cities the rats are actually carpooling to get to the fast food restaurants. How are you handling the rapidly rising prices? Ever considered doing anything just a bit shady when it comes to that precious fuel. Over the years, people have shared with me some of the ethical questions they have faced when the price of energy soars. Feel free to contact me if you are ever faced with such dilemmas. I feel your gas pains.

Dear Ethics Guy,

I know I’m supposed to change my oil every three months, but I just can’t afford it. I took some of those plastic stickers they put on the windshield at the quick-lube place, and every 3,000 miles I put a new one on. I haven’t changed my oil now in 60,000 miles. I am feeling guilty. But I’m saving lots of money.

A: You’ve only scratched the service of savings. How about a sticker for your heating system, or a gold star for your annual physical that you never have? You’ll save so much money you’ll be laughing all the way to the bank. Assuming you can get your car started.

Dear Ethics Guy,

I have noticed the strangest thing. Whenever I go to the gas station and my girlfriend calls me on the cell phone, it messes up the digital display on the meter and reduces the cost of the gas. Last week we talked for a minute and I filled my tank for $10. The week before we spoke we spoke for about two minutes and I filled my tank for $5.

I’m not sure what to do. Should I be more ethical?

A: NO! Be more conversational.

Dear Ethics Guy,

I work as a janitor in an investment office. The other day, by accident, I overheard a conversation about a stock tip regarding a gasoline company. I followed up on it and made a killing in the market. Recently, they moved me to the night shift and I accidentally listened to a few voice mails and got another great tip about petroleum. Then last week I accidentally opened some e-mails on their computers and got another great lead on an overseas oil company. I’m starting to feel guilty about this, but it costs $75 to fill up my Lexus SUV. Should I stop this snooping around?

A: YES, you don’t want to land in jail. Accidentally.

Dear Ethics Guy,

I fill my SUV up with gas twice a week. There is this one gas station in town that must have a broken pump. I put in 20 gallons of gas and the meter says $6. It should say $60. I tried explaining this to the clerk but he just shrugs his shoulders and gives me change for my 10. I’d like to know where the crime is?

A: I’d like to know where the gas station is.

Dear Ethics Guy,